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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Night On The Town

Created: 25 December 2014
Hits: 3112

What do all the female reindeer do when santa is busy working with the males on christmas eve?

Go into town and blow a couple of bucks!

Faking It

Created: 25 December 2014
Hits: 3838

A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?"

The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."

Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, "I thought Barbie comes with Ken."

"No," said the little girl. "She comes with G.I. Joe; she fakes it with Ken.

Just For Decoration, That's It & That's All...

Created: 25 December 2014
Hits: 2853

A daughter asks her mother, "How many different kinds of dicks are there?”

The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases in his life. In his 20s, his dick is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.”

“A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Be Nice Or You Won't Get Any

Little Johnny's walking along with his father when he sees a butterfly. He grabs it, throws it on the ground,and stomps on it. His father says, "Son, that was unnecessary violence. You may not have any butter for a month."

They walk a little further and Little Johnny sees a honey bee. He grabs it, throws it on the ground, and stomps on it. His father says, "Once again, son, unnecessary violence. You may not have any honey for a month."

That night, Little Johnny's having dinner with his mom and dad when a cockroach goes running across the table. His mother knocks it off the table and stomps on it. Little Johnny looks at his dad and says, "Well, Pop, are you gonna tell her, or should I?"

A Night On The Town

After a night of drinking, drugs and wild sex, I woke up to find myself next to a really ugly woman.  

That's when I realized I made it home safely.

It's About Time

20 years the wife finally gives him a blowjob.
 
Phone rings he picks it up says: It's for you, cocksucker.
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