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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Giddy up!

Hits: 4294

What's the worst thing about anal sex with a horse?

When it's his turn.

What's For Dinner?

Hits: 2824

Why'd the bride slide down the bannister on her honeymoon?

To warm up her husband's dinner.

Hold On There Little Fella

Hits: 3007

A midget whips out his two-foot dick.

The whore he's with says, "Oh, no, you ain't putting that thing in me. I'll kiss it."

"Fuck you" he tells her. "I can do that myself."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Almost Crapped My Pants!

Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work. Every morning for 15 years, Martha says, "One of these days, you're gonna fart your guts out!"

One Thanksgiving morning, Martha's preparing the turkey and gets an idea. Before her husband gets up, she creeps upstairs and places the turkey innards in his pajama bottoms, giggling to herself. Well, later that morning, Bob wakes up and goes through his morning ritual. He screams as he goes running into the bathroom. Martha laughs, but is concerned after noticing that Bob has been in the bathroom for 3 hours.

She runs upstairs, and is about to knock on the door, when Bob opens up, pale as a ghost.

He says, "You were right. You were right. I did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God and these two fingers I got them back up there again."

Does Your Job Suck?

What's the difference between your job and a whore who dropped dead?

Tomorrow your job will still suck!

It's Like That Movie Scream

I've found that most younger women make a lot of noise in the bedroom.

Guess they're not expecting to see anyone outside their window.