Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke

High art... from a low place.

What's the worst thing about anal sex with a horse?

When it's his turn.

Why'd the bride slide down the bannister on her honeymoon?

To warm up her husband's dinner.

A midget whips out his two-foot dick.

The whore he's with says, "Oh, no, you ain't putting that thing in me. I'll kiss it."

"Fuck you" he tells her. "I can do that myself."

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I woke up this morning with a text that seemed to have been sent to me by accident. It read,

"Hi... be home soon. Love ya, Dave xxx"

Being Valentine's Day I thought I'd have a bit of fun so I texted the guy back:

"Don't bother, I don't love you. You're a son of a bitch and I've been banging your brother."

I couldn't wait for the reply, then it came:

"You OK mom?"

Old Dick Johnson has some big plans for today, I'm gonna spend Valentines day with my ex...... box 360.

What's the difference between zebras and female Marines?

Zebras don't have to suck anybody's dick to get their stripes.

Giddy up!