Hold On There Little Fella

A midget whips out his two-foot dick.

The whore he's with says, "Oh, no, you ain't putting that thing in me. I'll kiss it."

"Fuck you" he tells her. "I can do that myself."

What do 9 out of 10 people consider to be a good time?

A gang bang.

Got home to find a man in bed with my wife. "Who said you could sleep with my wife?"

He said, "Everybody."

How do you know when you are getting old?

When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.