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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

It's Gonna Be One or the Other

Created: 28 August 2020
Hits: 2374

An old couple's sitting in the living room. The wife turns to her husband and says, "Let's go upstairs and fuck." He looks back and tells her, "I don't know if I can do both."

What's Your Number?

Created: 02 June 2020
Hits: 2606

I just bought the latest sleep-number smart bed. It detects when you're screwing your wife, locks the front door and turns on the stereo so your neighbors can't hear you. My number is 69.

That's Gratitude

Created: 28 August 2019
Hits: 2761

I spent 5 thousand bucks on a boob job for the wife and she was thrilled. So I go another 2 grand on her nose job and she's ecstatic.

But I spend 50 bucks on a blow job and she goes ballistic. Fucking women.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Just A Little Peak

Mr. & Mrs. Johnson are at the bank when an armed robber bursts in. Realizing he forgot his mask, the robber makes everyone lie face down and warns them not to look at him or he'll shoot.

Sure enough one stupid customer sneaks a look, and BAM! the robber shoots him on the spot. The robber then asks if anyone else had seen his face.

Johnson, continuing to gaze intently at the floor, shouts out "I think my wife got a glimpse."

And that's when the fight started...

Milk, It Does A Body Good

What do women and milk cartons have in common?

You gotta open the flaps to get to the good stuff.

White Parts Anyone?

How's a sun-tanned girl like a roast chicken?

The white parts are the best.

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