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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

It's Gonna Be One or the Other

Created: 28 August 2020
Hits: 2414

An old couple's sitting in the living room. The wife turns to her husband and says, "Let's go upstairs and fuck." He looks back and tells her, "I don't know if I can do both."

What's Your Number?

Created: 02 June 2020
Hits: 2648

I just bought the latest sleep-number smart bed. It detects when you're screwing your wife, locks the front door and turns on the stereo so your neighbors can't hear you. My number is 69.

That's Gratitude

Created: 28 August 2019
Hits: 2799

I spent 5 thousand bucks on a boob job for the wife and she was thrilled. So I go another 2 grand on her nose job and she's ecstatic.

But I spend 50 bucks on a blow job and she goes ballistic. Fucking women.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Staying Hard

Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking of retiring?

He changed his mind. Decided to stick it out for one more year!

Easy Solution

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

There's No Substitute

I hate it when a girl tries to offer me a lame consolation prize. 'Cause girls will say things like: "Oh, we're not going to have sex, but I'll give you a hand job."

Hey! Newsflash: I have hands... they have the job... the position is filled... I don't need to outsource the work... alright? If you got a pussy for the job, we can talk -- 'cause I am always hiring.

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