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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

It's Gonna Be One or the Other

Created: 28 August 2020
Hits: 2387

An old couple's sitting in the living room. The wife turns to her husband and says, "Let's go upstairs and fuck." He looks back and tells her, "I don't know if I can do both."

What's Your Number?

Created: 02 June 2020
Hits: 2617

I just bought the latest sleep-number smart bed. It detects when you're screwing your wife, locks the front door and turns on the stereo so your neighbors can't hear you. My number is 69.

That's Gratitude

Created: 28 August 2019
Hits: 2773

I spent 5 thousand bucks on a boob job for the wife and she was thrilled. So I go another 2 grand on her nose job and she's ecstatic.

But I spend 50 bucks on a blow job and she goes ballistic. Fucking women.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Seize The Moment

A guy comes home from work and finds his wife on her hands and knees in the kitchen scrubbing the floor. She only has an apron on so the husband gets a big hard on. Seizing the moment he quickly slips it in and starts humping her doggie style. When he's through he pulls out and at the same time hits her real hard up side the head.

"What was that for?" the wife screamed "Here I am being so nice to you, letting you really enjoy yourself. Why'd you hit me?"

The husband looks at her and says "For not looking back to see who it was."

This Job Is A Real Kick In The Butt

Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder?

He got a little behind in his work.

(And in case you are wondering, yes, I'll be here all night!)

In The Blink Of An Eye

Why don't women blink during foreplay?

They don't have time.

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