A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Who's That Lady...

What's the definition of a lady?

Someone who doesn't drink or smoke, and the only time she curses is when your dick slips out.

How You Grow The Franchise

How did Dairy Queen get pregnant?

Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.

Some Bad News

Cop at door "Looks like your wife's been hit by a bus"

"Yeah but she's a nice person & good with the kids"

The Voice of Experience

Husband asks: "Should I watch porn or hockey?"

Wife: "Watch porn. You already know how to play hockey."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

The Doctor Was A Big Help

My buddy was jerking off way too much, so he went to a shrink. Good move. So far he's been able to control his compulsive masturbating. Now he doesn't jerk off nearly as much. He says it feels like he got a huge load off his chest.

Adoption Laws

Why can't lesbians adopt a child?

Because they don't serve minors to lickers.

Count On This Happening

Little Johnny came home and told his mom he got kicked out of mathematics class. His mom asked "What happened."

Little Johnny told her: "The teacher asked me, 'What comes after 69?' Apparently 'mouthwash' was the wrong answer!"