Her Most Affectionate Name
I'm laying back after screwing my wife & she whispers: "Honey, I think I'll call you the bus?"
I asked why and she said, "Because you always stop before I get off!"
And that's when the fight started...
I'm laying back after screwing my wife & she whispers: "Honey, I think I'll call you the bus?"
I asked why and she said, "Because you always stop before I get off!"
And that's when the fight started...
Every day a homeless drunk watches a guy stop and whisper to every chick that walks by. Sometimes the girl walks away a little confused. Sometimes the girl smiles, grabs the guy by the arm and they walk off to the motel across the street.
One day the homeless guy walks over and asks: "Hey buddy, what are you sayin' to those girls to get all that action?" The guy tells him: "I take the simple, direct approach. I first whisper 'Tickle your ass with a feather?' If the girl smiles and says sure, I know I've scored. But if she's offended I quickly repeat 'Particularly nasty weather' like she didn't hear me right and then just move on. Works every time!"
The drunk thinks what a great idea and decides to try it himself. Waiting on the corner he stumbles over to the first girl that walks by and shouts at her: "Shove a feather up your ass?" The girl looks totally shocked. So heeding his lesson he quickly covers by saying: "It's fucking raining."
The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!"
Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
My wife suggested we go to a marriage counselor to work on our relationship. I said sure. We get there and the therapist asks me to tell how I felt.
I said: "I knew right from the beginning our marriage wouldn't work. I'm an Aquarius and she's a cunt."
And that's when the fight started...