Quick Thinking

Little Johnny's dad was sitting on the edge of the bed rolling on a condom about to give some to the old lady. Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says, "Whatcha doin' Daddy?" Johnny's dad stoops over to cover up his dick and starts looking around at the floor. "Oh, I'm just looking for this big rat I saw." he tells the kid.

Little Johnny asks, "Whatcha gonna do, fuck it?"

Out To Lunch

Sign on the whorehouse door: Out to lunch. Beat it.

Union Rules

How many teamsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Twelve ... you got a problem?

A Night On The Town

My wife suggested: "Let’s go out and have some fun tonight!"

So I told her: "Sure... but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on."

And that's when the fight started...