Take the Plea
Judge Calloway's court docket was too full.
So he knocked the sodomy charge down to "following too close."
What do you get when you cross a hooker with a piranha?
Your last blow job.
A guy visits the psychiatrist and tells him: "Doc, I need help, I think I'm turning into a dog. Every morning when I wake up I scratch behind my ear, like I'm looking for fleas. Then in the afternoon I run around in circles, like I'm chasing my tail. By the evening I lay down and lick my balls, just because I can. Doc, this has got to stop."
The doctor looks at him and asks: "Do you want to stop now?" The guy says: "Yes, yes"
So the doctor rolls up a magazine, swats the guy on the ass and yells: "Get off the couch!"
A farmer bursts into the bedroom with his wife in bed and a sheep under his arm. He yells, "This is the pig I fuck when you have a headache!" The wife looks up and says, "That's not pig dumbass, it's a sheep!"
The farmer looks over and shouts: "Quiet! I wasn't talking to you!"
And that's when the fight started...