A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Five Will Get You Ten

What do you say to a man with five penises?

"Your jeans fit like a glove."

And Now I'm Outta Here

Why did the woman leave her husband after he spent all their money on a penis enlarger?

She just couldn’t take it any longer.

Bingo!

How do you get five hundred cows in a barn?

Put up a "Bingo" sign.

I'd Like To Point This Out

My wife came in complaining about me never lifting a finger around the house.

So I did - the middle one.

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Done But Not Retired

What would you call a hooker with jizz all over her face?

Call her a cab ... her job is done.

Watch Where You Hang Those Things

An old couple sits down to breakfast on their Fiftieth Anniversary stark naked.

The wife says "Oh, Harold, this is just like fifty years ago...my breasts feel all warm and tingly..."

He says, "They ought to be, Gladys...one's hanging in your oatmeal and the other is in your coffee."

Celebrate Good Times C'mon

Husband takes his wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor dancing like a king – moonwalking, break dancing, head spins, the works. The wife turns to her husband and sighs: "You see that guy? 25 years ago he asked me to marry him... but I said no."

Husband says: "Yep... and it looks like he’s still celebrating!!"

And that's when the fight started...