It's Been Said

It's been said if you bend over & put your ear to someone's leg you can hear "What the fuck are you doing?"

She's Smoking!

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

The Latest Technology

I told my pal: "I got a brand new digital hearing aid, $10,000!" "What kind is it?" he asked.

"Six-thirty."

Back And Forth Exchange

Wife to her husband in frustration: "Get the fuck out." Then, as he's leaving, she adds, "I hope you die a slow painful death."

He turns back to her and says, "So now you want me to stay?"

And that's when the REAL fight started...