A Penis Enlarger That Really Works

My wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did.

She's twenty-five... her name's Beverly.

Sex Is Always On Time

Typical macho guy married a good-looking broad and after the wedding, he laid down the rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't want any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any questions?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."

What Do You Mean?

A girl walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "Give me a double entendre."

So he gave it to her.

In-Laws Can Be The Worst

A young couple were driving down country road in total silence, having had a little disagreement at their last stop. As they passed a barnyard full of mules and pigs, the husband sarcastically asked, "Are they relatives of yours?"

"Yes," his wife replied. "I married into the family."

And that's when the fight started...