Needs More Duct Tape

What's the best thing about duct tape?

It turns, "No! No!," into "Mmm! Mmm!"

Facts Of Life

Little Johnny: "Where do babies come from?"

Mother: "The stork brings them."

Johnny: "Who fucks the stork?"

Another One Into A Bar

Baby seal walks into a bar.

Bartender says "What'll it be?"

Baby seal says "Anything but a Canadian Club."

I Always Wonder Why

It was our anniversary and I was reminiscing with my wife. She asked if I could remember way back when.

I told her: "You know honey, I can remember where we got married and I can remember when we got married... I just can’t remember why."

And that's when the fight started.