My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second and third.
What's the difference between a musician and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
My wife and I were basking in the afterglow of having sex when she asked: "Honey, why did God create orgasms?"
I said: "So women can moan even when they’re happy."
And that's when the fight started...