A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

An Age Old Question

Your wife & your lawyer are drowning, so you have to choose. What do you do: go to lunch or catch a movie?

What's Her Name?

What do you call hooker that likes it in the ass?

A crack whore.

Homeless or Houseless?

What's the best thing about dating homeless chicks?

You can drop them off anywhere.

After I'm Gone

I was talking to my wife about what might happen after I died. I told her: Promise me one thing... that 6 months after I die you'll marry Bernie." She said: "I thought you hated Bernie."

"I do"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

No Talking In The Library

The blonde said: "I want French fries and a diet Coke."

The librarian looked at her and snapped: "This is a library!"

So the blonde leaned in and whispered: "Sorry ... I want French Fries and a diet Coke."

Late But On Time

The angry wife met her husband at the door. There was alcohol on his breath and lipstick on his collar. "I assume," she snarled, "that there is a very good reason for you to come waltzing in here at five o'clock in the morning?"

"There is," he replied. "Breakfast."

And that's when the fight started...

Also Known As A Bigshot

My dick is so big, it won't return Spielberg's calls.