You Get What You Pay For
A man goes to a $10 hooker and gets the crabs.
When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"
A man goes to a $10 hooker and gets the crabs.
When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"
What'd the Polish guy say when he came home and found his best friend on top of his wife?
Down, Fido, down boy!
A lady goes to the doctor's office and tells the doctor that she can't get her husband to have sex with her anymore. So, the doctor gives her some pills and says to give her husband one each night in his dinner whenever she wants to have sex.
That night she gave him one and they had a decent night of sex. The next night she decided to try 4 pills and she had even better sex. Well the next night she tried 8 pills and the sex was wonderful. So the next night she decided to dump the whole bottle in his dinner.
The next day her son showed up at the doctor's office and and said, "Doctor, Doctor, what did you do to my Daddy? My mom's dead, my sister's pregnant, my butt hurts, and my dad's going around the house saying here kitty, kitty, kitty!"
One night my wife asked me to take out the garbage.
I told her: "You cooked it, you take it out."
And that's when the fight started...