A girl says to a salesman, "I need some batteries for my vibrator."
He motions with his finger, "Come this way..."
She says, "If I could come that way I wouldn't need a fucking vibrator."
A guy is driving home when a cop pulls him over.
The cop says, "Have you been drinking?"
The guy says, "Yes, I have."
The cop says, "Please step out of the car."
The guy says, "Why? Don't you believe me?"
I razzed my wife: "I shoulda never got married. Why buy the whole cow when I was gettin' the milk for free?"
She snapped back: "Yeah? Well I got stuck with the whole pig for just one little sausage."
And that's when the fight started...