Hi. My Name is Dick

I just joined a brand new 13-step treatment program. I'm still on step 1 - becoming an alcoholic.

As He Walked Through The Bar

A young guy walks into a bar and as he passes an old man sitting there the old guy looks up and blurts out: "I fucked your mother."

The young guy ignores the old coot and keeps on walkin' when the old guy shouts: "Your mother sucks my dick".

So the young guy turns back and says: "Dad... your drunk... go home."

Population Problem

World population has become a big problem. Experts say every 4 seconds a woman gives birth to another baby.

Our problem? We have to find this woman and stop her.

A Dream Shattered

My wife came out of the shower, winked at me and said, "I shaved my pussy! You know what that means?"

I said, "Yeah the fucking drain is clogged again."

And that's when the fight started...