Not That Kind Of Table

Just booked a table for me and the wife for Valentine's Day.

Hope the bitch knows how to play snooker.

Always Important To Match

A blonde walks up to a guy in a blue bathing suit and says, "Did you know your eyes match your swim trunks?"

He says, "Why? Are my eyes bulging?"

Really, Legally, Blind, Really!

What'd the blonde say when she saw a guy walking two dogs?

"He must be really blind."

Call A Cleaning Lady

My wife and I were discussing the current state of NASA and the space program. She asked: "Why do you think they never sent a woman to the moon?"

I told her: "'Cause it doesn't need cleaning."

And that's when the fight started...