A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Not A Total Loss

Guy gets home from work on the day the stock market tumbled looking visibly upset. His wife asks: "Honey, what's the matter?"

He tells her: "I can't believe I lost half my money and I still have you."

And that's when the fight started...

Ring the Buzzer

What do you call a nurse with dirty knees?

The head nurse.

Keep On Dreaming This Thanksgiving

What's a Turkeys favorite song?

"I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas"

Go For The Gold!

I told my wife, "Honey, I bought some Olympic condoms today. I think I'll wear Gold tonight."

She replied, "Why not wear Silver and not finish first for a change?"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Next Stop Willoughby

Little Johnny was in the kitchen playing with his toy train while his dad was cooking dinner. Johnny stops the train at the station and says, "All of you bastards who want to get off, you're here, so get the fuck off. And you dirt bags waiting to board, get your asses on now or we leave without you!"

"Little Johnny!" shouted his father. "I can't believe you are using that kind of language! You should be ashamed of yourself! Go to your room and don't come back until you have thought about what you've done!"

So Little Johnny goes to his room and about an hour later he returns. Once again he starts playing with his toy train, only this time when he comes to the stop at the station he says, "All of you fine ladies and gentlemen who want to get off, you've arrived at your destination, you may now exit the train. And all of you nice people who are are waiting to get on, welcome aboard! As for anyone who has a problem with the one hour delay, take it up with the asshole in the kitchen!"

Dead Or Live?

A guy is interviewing a blonde for a job.

He says, "If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?"

She says, "The living one."

Remember This Test From High School?

What'd the hockey player get on his SAT's?

Drool.