A farmer bursts into the bedroom with his wife in bed and a sheep under his arm. He yells, "This is the pig I fuck when you have a headache!" The wife looks up and says, "That's not pig dumbass, it's a sheep!"
The farmer looks over and shouts: "Quiet! I wasn't talking to you!"
And that's when the fight started...
Nursing homes now give Viagra to the old guys living there.
Keeps them from rolling out of bed.
In college I wanted to join the debating team.
But somebody talked me out of it.
My wife thought I was too damn bossy, always acting like a typical male, so she called me a male chauvinist pig.
I looked at her sweetly and said: "Honey, the only thing worse than a male chauvinist pig is a woman who won't do what she's told."
And that's when the fight started...