Better Than Nothing

Why is sex with your spouse like a convenience store?

There's not much variety, but what else is open at three in the morning.

Strange Sexual Positions

A couple went to a sex therapist to try and improve their sex live. After hearing the couple's complaints, the therapist suggested they experiment a little more. "For example," he suggested, "You might try different positions, like the wheelbarrow. You lift her legs, penetrate, and off you go."

The eager husband was all for trying this new idea as soon as they got home.

"Well, OK," the hesitant wife agreed, "But on two conditions. First if it hurts, you'll stop right away, and second," she insisted, "You must promise we won't go past my mother's."

Wipe Nair On, Wipe Hair Off

How can you tell a sumo wrestler from a feminist?

A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs.

Don't Give Me No Lip

My wife bought one of those do-it-yourself waxing kits. Really wanting to please me, she asked with a wink: "Should I do the sides and leave a little strip down the middle?"

I told her: "I'd prefer you have no moustache at all."

And that's when the fight started...