Ten Items or Less

Gal to cashier: "I'm in a hurry, can you please check me out?"

Clerk looks her up & down: "Nice tits, babe!"

Why Is It St. Valentines Day?

It's called St. Valentine's Day because "St. Blowjob for Jewelry Day" just didn't have the same ring to it.

No, Not That!

What gets longer when you pull it, fits between the breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A seat belt.

What Turns You On?

My wife and I were talking about what turns men and women on. I asked her: "Why do you think men like big tits and a tight ass?"

She said: "In your case because you’ve got a big mouth and a small dick."

And that's when the fight started...