The teacher says, "Okay, class, we're going to play a game today. I want everyone to give me a sentence with the word 'perhaps' in it."
Claude says, "Perhaps if we are good, the teacher won't give us any homework." The teacher says, "Very good, Claude."
Mary says, "The sky is very dark... perhaps it's going to rain." The teacher says, "Very good, Mary."
She calls on Little Johnny in the back. "John?"
Little Johnny says, "Yesterday, when I got home from school, my sister and her music teacher both had their pants down to their ankles. Perhaps they were gonna shit on the piano."
A priest goes to get his hair cut. When the barber's done, the priest goes to pay him, but the barber says, "No thanks, my friend. I couldn't take money from a man of the cloth." The next day the barber shows up for work and there's a dozen boxes of chocolates waiting for him with a thank you note from the priest.
That afternoon a rabbi comes in and the barber cuts his hair. When he gets done the rabbi goes to pay him, but the barber says, "No thanks, my friend, I couldn't take money from a man of the cloth."
The next day when he shows up for work, there's a dozen rabbis waiting for him.
I come home from work to find my wife in tears sobbing her mom passed away. She asks: "What should we do -- cremate her or bury her?"
I tell her: "Don't take any chances. Do both."
And that's when the fight started...