What's In That Tackle Box
"Every Sunday you go fishing, right?
Husband: "Yeah why?"
"The fish came by to tell you she's pregnant!"
"Every Sunday you go fishing, right?
Husband: "Yeah why?"
"The fish came by to tell you she's pregnant!"
Maid: "I want a raise. I fuck better than you."
Wife: "My husband said that?"
"No, all the landscapers."
The receptionist calls the doctor into the waiting room in a panic: "Doctor, the patient you just treated died on his way out the door. What should I do?"
The doctor says, "Turn him around so it looks like he died on the way in."
Last year, I bought my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
This year I didn't buy her anything..
When my wife asked me why I didn't buy her mother a gift this year I told her "Hey, she never used the gift I bought her last year!"
And that's when the fight started...