Who You Calling Little?
Dwarf to doctor: You're pretty busy. You treat dwarfs?
Doc: Yeah but you'll have to be a little patient.
Dwarf to doctor: You're pretty busy. You treat dwarfs?
Doc: Yeah but you'll have to be a little patient.
Harry is 85 when he gets married to a 22-year-old. One night after his honeymoon he shows up at the local bar where all the guys want to hear about his wedding night.
"Well," Harry tells them, "We got to the hotel and my youngest son helped me out. First he carried me up the stairs. Then he helped me get undressed. Finally he lifted me onto the bed with my bride, so's me and her could spend the night together. The next morning all three of my sons came upstairs and lifted me off her."
One of his buddies asks him, "Why did it take your three sons to lift you off?"
Harry says, "'Cause I fought 'em."
Joe gets a ticket to the Super Bowl from his company, but when he gets there, the seat is in the last row way back in the corner of the stadium.
Halfway through the first quarter, Joe sees through his binoculars an empty seat ten rows off the field, right on the fifty-yard line. He decides to take a chance, and makes his way around the security guards to the empty seat.
As he sits down, Joe says to the guy sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anybody sitting here?"
The guy says, "No."
Joe says, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl and not use it?"
The guy says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't seen together since we got married in 1967."
Joe says, "That's really sad. But couldn't you find anyone to take the seat? A friend, or a close relative?"
The guy says, "No, they're all at the funeral."
My wife and I were lying in bed last night. She gently leaned over and whispered: "I'm going to make you the happiest man in the world."
So I leaned over and whispered back: "I'm going to miss you."
And that's when the fight started...