Asked About A Nun

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Dress her up as an altar boy.

Never Too Old

Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench feeding the pigeons when a guy in a raincoat walks up and flashes them.

Two of them had a stroke. The third one's arms were too short.

Too Damn Polite, Eh?

Why don't Canadians attend orgies?

Too many thank-you notes to write afterwards.

No Guarantees in the After Life

My wife and I were having a discussion about heaven. I told her she shouldn't worry 'cause she'll never get there. She asked: "How can you say that?"

I told her: "Because dragons never fly above 8,000 feet."

And that's when the fight started...