A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

How's Your Credit?

How is sex like credit?

It's the people who need it most who can't get any.

 

The Smelliest Common Denominator

What do a gynecologist & a pizza delivery boy have in common?

They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

Where's My Gun?

Women are like guns.

Keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.

Up Or Down?

The other night my wife and I were in bed and I asked her: "Honey, why do you like it so much when you are on top?"

She said: "'Cause all you do is fuck up."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

And I Don't Even Know It

You didn't know old Dick Johnson is a bit of a poet, did you. Yep! My dick is a Longfellow.

One Morning On The Farm

One lazy morning a little farm boy is told to do his chores. He hates getting up early, so after he slops the hogs he angrily kicks one as he leaves. Then he feeds the chickens and kicks one on the way to the barn. Finally he milks the cow and before heading home he gives that cow one swift kick.

When he sits down at the breakfast table his mother says: "I've been watching you. You kicked the hog so no bacon for you. You kicked the chicken so no eggs for you. And you kicked the cow so no milk for you."

Just then his dad walks in from plowing the back forty and angrily kicks the cat out of the way. The little boy looks at his mom and says: "Should you tell him or should I."

Ladies and Gentleman We Have A Winner

My dick is so big, I entered it in a big-dick contest and it came in first, second and third.