DJ of the Day

The blonde said: "I want French fries and a diet Coke."

The librarian looked at her and snapped: "This is a library!"

So the blonde leaned in and whispered: "Sorry ... I want French Fries and a diet Coke."

Two stock brokers are checking out a new secretary.

The first one says, "She's got nothing going on upstairs."

The second one says, "That wouldn't be the floor I'd be getting off on."

How can you tell if you're at a bulemic bachelor party?

The cake jumps out of the girl.

My wife told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.

When I came back she asked what did I get. I told her I got drunk.

And that's when the fight started...

The teacher asked the class to use the word indefinitely in a sentence?

Little Johnny raised his hand and said: "When your balls are slapping on the cheeks of her ass, you're in definitely."

My wife stripped naked last night and stood on her head. I asked: "What the hell are you doing?"

She said: "Well... if you can't get it up again tonight, I thought maybe you could just drop it in!"

And that's when the fight started...

How do you confuse a female archaeologist?

Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it's from.

Dick's Joke of the Day