What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
What's the best way to keep kitty litter fresh?
Kill your cat.
I thought I could please my wife by offering her a sumptuous breakfast in bed. So I asked her what would be her perfect breakfast.
She said: "My perfect breakfast would be a cup of gourmet coffee. Our son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Our daughter is on the cover of Business Week. And your face is on the back of the milk carton."
And that's when the fight started...