A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Don't Blow It ... Or Maybe You Should?

Did you hear about the girl who had three chances to get pregnant?

Blew 'em all.

Wrong Answer

My girlfriend's dad asked me what I do.

Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.

It's Always in a Bar

A termite walks into a bar and asks: "Where's the bar tender?"

Brrrrrrrrrr

Last winter my wife and I were walking down the street when we passed a fancy department store window. She turned and asked me: "Sweetheart, why won't you buy me a fur coat? I'm so cold!"

I told her: "If you already knew the answer, why'd you bother asking?"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

This Game Is Hard!

What does a Rubik's Cube and a dick have in common?

The more you play with it the harder it gets.

Who's In Charge Here

The body parts were all arguing about who should be in charge. The heart said: "I pump the blood that keeps us all alive. I should be the boss." The lungs said: "Without us sucking air, we'd all die." And so all the parts... the eyes, the ears, the hands all made their case. Finally the brain said: "I control all of you. That makes me the right choice. I make the decisions... so I'm the boss!"

While the parts were all considering the brain's strong argument, the asshole chimed in: "I'm the most important! I want to be the boss." Whereupon all the body parts laughed in his face.

So the asshole closed up. In a few days the heart pumped slower, it was harder to breathe, the eyes were watering, the hands were weak. Finally all the parts had to agree... the asshole could be in charge.

Which proves that you don't have to have brains to be the boss, you just have to be an asshole.

Should Have Become A Gynecologist

What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?

A wet nose.