Two guys are having a couple of beers and talking about their wives. "Do you and your wife ever do it doggy style?" asks the first one.
"Well, not exactly," replies his friend. "She just pretends to be a dog." "Very kinky." says the first guy.
"Well, not really... Whenever I lean over and whisper let's do it doggy style, she rolls over and plays dead."
A kid walks in and catches his mom sucking on his father's dick.
He says, "Hey, are you guys making a baby?"
Mom lifts her head up and says, "No sweetie... we're making jewelry."
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same but you get to use the remote.
I saw my wife bought one of those new Wonder Bras.
Goofing around I told her: "You know why they call it the Wonder Bra? When you take it off you wonder where your tits went."
And that's when the fight started...