A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

At The Cattle Auction

My wife was amazed to read about a farmer who claimed he sold a cow with a pussy like a woman for $10,000.

I told her: "That's not amazing, that's irony. Here I am with you... a pussy like a cow, and you ain't worth shit."

And that's when the fight started...

 

In Need of Repair

Why are women like a storm door?

The more you bang 'em ... the looser they get.

And once that happens ... not even a longer screw can fix it.

Too Big For Her Age?

A brunette, a blonde & a redhead are all in 5th grade. Who has the biggest tits?

The blonde... she's 18!

Happy Anniversary

I asked my wife: "Where do you want to go for our anniversary, honey?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested: "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Get A Job

I'm trying to write a joke about unemployed people.

It needs more work.

The Long And The Short Of It

Three guys are arguing about who has the longest dick, and they decide the only way to find out once and for all is to go to the Observation Deck of the Empire State Building and hang them over the side.

The first guy says, "Check it out. My pecker reaches down to the 68th floor." The second guy says, "That's nothing. This beauty's dangling down past the 34th floor."

They look over and see the third guy jumping up and down and back and forth. The first guy yells at him, "What the hell are you doing?" He says, "Dodgin' traffic."

How To Tell The DIfference

What's the difference between a girl who spits and a girl who swallows?

A wedding ring.