A little girl asked her mom: "When you and daddy have sex, who enjoys it more?"
Her mother thought for a moment and replied: "Sweetie, you know when you have an itch in your ear and you stick your finger in and wiggle it around to make it go away? Think about it... which feels better, your finger or your ear?"
Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench feeding the pigeons when a guy in a raincoat walks up and flashes them.
Two of them had a stroke. The third one's arms were too short.
How is Santa Claus like a smart blonde?
They both don't exist!
My wife and I were discussing the differences between men and women. She asked: "So what do you think the biggest difference is?"
I told her: "What comes to mind when I say I'd like to give you a facial!"
And that's when the fight started...