Next It'll Say: Out Of Business

When we first started dating I wanted to show my girfriend I was serious. So I changed my Facebook status to "in a relationship."

When I told her she said: "It should've been changd to 'under new management!'"

And that's when the fight started...

How Long Has That Condom Been In Your Wallet?

What do a wife & a condom have in common?

They both spend wayyy more time in your wallet than on your dick.

On The Rag, Vampire Style

What did the boy vampire say to the girl vampire?

See you next period.

Don't Give Me No Lip

My wife bought one of those do-it-yourself waxing kits. Really wanting to please me, she asked with a wink: "Should I do the sides and leave a little strip down the middle?"

I told her: "I'd prefer you have no moustache at all."

And that's when the fight started...