A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Ten Items or Less

Gal to cashier: "I'm in a hurry, can you please check me out?"

Clerk looks her up & down: "Nice tits, babe!"

Why Is It St. Valentines Day?

It's called St. Valentine's Day because "St. Blowjob for Jewelry Day" just didn't have the same ring to it.

No, Not That!

What gets longer when you pull it, fits between the breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked?

A seat belt.

What Turns You On?

My wife and I were talking about what turns men and women on. I asked her: "Why do you think men like big tits and a tight ass?"

She said: "In your case because you’ve got a big mouth and a small dick."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Settling the Same Sex Marriage Debate

My wife and I were discussing the news. I said: "What's the big deal about same-sex marriage?"

She said: "You're right. We've been married for years, and we keep having the same lousy sex."

And that's when the fight started...

Depends on Which End You Are On

A little girl asked her mom: "When you and daddy have sex, who enjoys it more?"

Her mother thought for a moment and replied: "Sweetie, you know when you have an itch in your ear and you stick your finger in and wiggle it around to make it go away? Think about it... which feels better, your finger or your ear?"

It's Like That Movie Scream

I've found that most younger women make a lot of noise in the bedroom.

Guess they're not expecting to see anyone outside their window.