A Lot On The Side
How can you tell when your girlfriend's getting really fat?
You start asking your wife for sex.
How can you tell when your girlfriend's getting really fat?
You start asking your wife for sex.
An old couple goes to the doctor. The man says, "We want to know if we're makin' love properly. Will you watch us?"
The doctor says, "Go ahead." So they go to it.
The doctor says, "Looks good to me... That'll be forty dollars."
They go back six weeks in a row and do the same thing each time.
On the seventh week the doctor says, "Why do you keep coming back? I told you, you're making love perfectly."
The old guy says, "Well, she can't come to my house, and I can't go to her's...a motel is fifty bucks...you only charge us forty and we get back thirty-five back from Medicare."
A blind guy in Macy's has his seeing-eye dog by the tail and is twirling it over his head.
A salesman walks up and asks: "Can I help you?"
The blind guy replies: "Nah. I'm just looking around."
One night I came home a little late and very drunk. There was my wife standing there holding a broom
Thinking fast (maybe too fast) I said: "Are you still cleaning or are you going for a ride?"
And that's when the fight started...