Sound Advice For Nature Lovers

What do a grizzly bear and a limp dick have in common?

Don't fuck with them.

They're All Doin' It

Two rednecks are out fishing. The first one asks: "If I go to your house and fuck your wife and get her pregnant and she has a kid, would that make us kinfolk?"

The friend says: "Nope. That'd make us about even."

Don't Need A Pen

What's the job application at Hooters?

They just hand you a bra and say: "Here, fill this out."

Knew It Wouldn't Work

My wife suggested we go to a marriage counselor to work on our relationship. I said sure. We get there and the therapist asks me to tell how I felt.

I said: "I knew right from the beginning our marriage wouldn't work. I'm an Aquarius and she's a cunt."

And that's when the fight started...