Everything Is Legal If You Don't Get Caught
"By the Thanksgiving meal eveyone goes around the table saying what they are most thankful for, you know what I say?
I'm thankful I didn't get caught!"
"By the Thanksgiving meal eveyone goes around the table saying what they are most thankful for, you know what I say?
I'm thankful I didn't get caught!"
A guy goes to see his doctor. In the exam room the doctor asks, "What brings you here today?" The guy says, "Before I show you, you have to promise not to laugh." The doctor nods, and the guys pulls down his pants and reveals an incredibly small penis.
Holding back laughter, the doctor manages to ask, "What exactly is the problem?"
The guy tells him, "Can't you see doc... it's swollen."
Two guys trying to get in a quick eighteen holes, but there are two terrible lady golfers in front of them hitting the ball everywhere but where it's supposed to go. The first guy says, "Why don't you go over and ask if we play through?"
The second guy gets about halfway there and comes back. The first guy says, "What's wrong?" His buddy says, "One of them is my wife, and the other one is my mistress." The first guy says, "That could be a problem. I'll go over."
He gets about halfway there and comes back. The second guy says, "What's wrong?"
The first guy says, "Small world."
For their 10th anniversary, a wife surprises her husband by wearing the lingerie she wore on their wedding night. She asks him what his exact thoughts were 10 years ago when he first saw her in the lingerie.
He tells her, "I wanted to suck your tits dry and fuck your brains out." "Well, what do you think today?" she asks,
He says, "Mission accomplished!"
And that's when the fight started...