A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

College Rules

On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students about the dormitory rules: "The women's dorm will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the men's dorm will be off limits to all female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"

One male student raised his hand and asked, "How much for a season pass?"

Musings From George Burns

1st you forget names, then faces. Next it's pulling your zipper up, And finally you forget to pull it down.

Union Rules

How many teamsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

Twelve ... you got a problem?

One Difference Between Men And Women

My wife and I were discussing the differences between men and women. She asked: "So what do you think the biggest difference is?"

I told her: "What comes to mind when I say I'd like to give you a facial!"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Scratch 'n Sniff

Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

They don't have balls to scratch.

No Monkey Business

A lady gets on a train with her baby. A guy sitting across from her looks at the baby and starts laughing hysterically.

He says, "Lady, that's the ugliest kid I've ever seen. It looks like a monkey. What an ugly kid."

The lady freaks out, and goes running into the next car sobbing uncontrollably. The conductor sees her, comes over to her to console her.

He says, "Lady, relax...things are going to be all right...we'll get off at the next stop, get a cup of coffee...maybe we'll even find a banana for your monkey."

Put Her In Her Place

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing. You already told her twice.