A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Don't Do That Again

Johnson finds wife in bed with a friend, shoots him.

"Keep behaving like that you'll lose all your friends." she snaps at him.

And that's when the fight started...

There's Only One Alternative

Guy tells his buddy: "I think I've become di-sexual."

Friend asks: "Di-sexual? What the hell is that?"

Guy says: "If I don't get me some pussy pretty soon... I'm gonna kill myself."

Add That To The List

A cop pulls a guy over. He tells him: "You've got expired plates, your inspection is overdue, you're not wearing a seatbelt and you've got an open can of beer in your hand!"

The guy says: "I'll see you tomorrow then." The cop shoots back: "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

The guy snaps: "Hang on a minute pal, I'm on the phone here."

I Like Big Butts...

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look too big.

I told her not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Show Some Respect

My dick is so big, I have to call it Mr. Dick in front of company.

Sort Of Like Christmas in July

An elderly married couple scheduled their annual medical examination the same day so they could travel together. After the examination, the doctor then said to the elderly man: "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like discuss with me?" "In fact, I do," said the man. "After I have sex with my wife for the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty. And then, after I have sex with my wife the second time, I am usually cold and chilly."

"This is very interesting", replied the doctor. "Let me do some research and get back to you".

After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said: "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?" The lady replied that she had no questions at all. The doctor then told her, "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex with you the first time and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?"

"Oh that old geezer!" she replied, "That's because the first time is usually in July and the second time is usually in December!"

Remember This Test From High School?

What'd the hockey player get on his SAT's?

Drool.