An old couple goes to the doctor. The man says, "We want to know if we're makin' love properly. Will you watch us?"
The doctor says, "Go ahead." So they go to it.
The doctor says, "Looks good to me... That'll be forty dollars."
They go back six weeks in a row and do the same thing each time.
On the seventh week the doctor says, "Why do you keep coming back? I told you, you're making love perfectly."
The old guy says, "Well, she can't come to my house, and I can't go to her's...a motel is fifty bucks...you only charge us forty and we get back thirty-five back from Medicare."
A cop pulls a guy over. He tells him: "You've got expired plates, your inspection is overdue, you're not wearing a seatbelt and you've got an open can of beer in your hand!"
The guy says: "I'll see you tomorrow then." The cop shoots back: "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
The guy snaps: "Hang on a minute pal, I'm on the phone here."
My wife was telling me all about this new transgender thing... you know, where guys turn themselves into women. I said to her: "Yeah. Well that ain't nothin' You know how to turn a fox into an elephant?"
She said: "How?" I told her: "Marry it."
And that's when the fight started...