A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Call A Cleaning Lady

My wife and I were discussing the current state of NASA and the space program. She asked: "Why do you think they never sent a woman to the moon?"

I told her: "'Cause it doesn't need cleaning."

And that's when the fight started...

Not The Best Choice

Why do men name their dicks?

They don't want ninety-five per cent of their decisions made by a total stranger.

The Down Under

How's an old lady's twat like Australia?

Everybody knows it's down there but nobody really gives a shit.

Don't Ask

My wife was curious. She asked: "When do married men stop jerking off?"

I told her: "When they get divorced."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Runs In The Family

Cop stops a young prostitute on the street & asks: "What would your mother say if she saw you out hooking?"

"She'd be pissed as hell... this is her corner!"

Have You Ever Done That?

A couple has sex. When they're done, the girl looks in the box of condoms and sees only 6 left out of 12. She asks, "What happened to the other condoms?" The guy says, "I, uh... I made balloon animals out of them for my niece and nephew."

The next day the girl's at work telling the story to her co-workers. She turns to one of the guys and asks: "Have you ever done that?" He tells her, "Sure. All the time."

She can't believe it so she argues: "Really? You make balloon animals out of condoms?"

He says back, "No. I thought you were asking if I ever lied to my girlfriend."

I'll Drink To That

There's a huge five-alarm fire at the local bar and trucks are dispatched from every station. When it's finally under control, one of the chiefs walks in and finds two Irish guys drinking at the bar. The chief says, "I can't believe you guys were in here the whole time. How'd the fire start?"

One of the Irish guys says, "We have no idea. It was burning when we got here."