The Parade Route Is Safe

Why does a blonde have two more brain cells than a horse?

So she won't shit on the street during the parade.

BaaaAAAHH

Why's a sheep better than a woman?

A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.

Old Guy Visits the Doctor

Old guy says: "Doc, every morning at 7 I take a healthy piss, and then at 8 I take a big shit."

"So... what's the problem?"

"I don't get up until 9."

Save A Trip To The Pet Shop

I asked my wife if we should get a pet for around the house.

She said she already has all the pets she needs: A mink in the closet, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed, and a jackass to pay for everything.

And that's when the fight started...