A good-looking teenage girl went out fishing with six older guys.
She came home with a red snapper.
Hallmark Card fail:
"My tire was thumping, I thought it was flat. Looked underneath and noticed your cat."
I was talking to my wife about what might happen after I died. I told her: Promise me one thing... that 6 months after I die you'll marry Bernie." She said: "I thought you hated Bernie."
"I do"
And that's when the fight started...