A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Dick's Joke of the Day

Never Give Up The Search

What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Make A Wish

A guy was fishing when he caught a magical crocodile. The crocodile spoke: "I am a magical crocodile. If you let me go I will grant you any wish you desire."

The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground."

So the crocodile bit his legs off.

Tell Me A Story

Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "

"No, sweetheart," he answered. "Some begin with 'If I'm elected.'"

One Difference Between Men And Women

My wife and I were discussing the differences between men and women. She asked: "So what do you think the biggest difference is?"

I told her: "What comes to mind when I say I'd like to give you a facial!"

And that's when the fight started...

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I Came All Over That Place

Last night, I finally realized a longtime fantasy... I came all over my girlfriend's face.

Man, was she pissed when she woke up.

The Price of Adventure

A businessman returns from Bangkok. After a few days he notices strange growth on his dick. He sees several doctors and they all tell him: “You've been screwing around over in Thailand. This is very common over there, but there is really no cure. We'll have to cut it off.” The man panics, but figures if it is common in Thailand they must know how to cure it. So he goes back and sees a doctor in Bangkok.

The Thai doctor examines him and says, "Looks like you've been fooling around in my country. This is a very common problem here. Did you see any other doctors?”

The man replies, “Yes a few in the USA.”

The doctor says, "I bet they told you it had to be cut off."

The man answers, "Yes!"

The doctor smiles and nods, "That is not correct. It will fall off by itself."

Not What You Think

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex... Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact family, she consulted the family doctor.

The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then talk to her and give her a box of condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the mother told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.

The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying, "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"