Size Does Matter

What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah?

About three inches.

Go Both Ways

Old Dick is ambidextrous. Yep! I can swing a bat from both sides of the plate, & jerk off with both hands.

A Woman's Place Is In The Kitchen

Why do brides wear white?

The dishwasher should match the refrigerator and the stove.

Not Quite A Dozen Roses

My wife and I went to counseling to improve our marriage. While attending one session dealing with communication, the counselor instructed: "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

Looking at me she said: "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"

I looked over, touched my wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?"

And that's when the fight started...