A guy walks up to a girl in a bar and says, "Hello. I think I'd like to get to know you better. I'm 48 years old, I've been a Congressman for 10 years and I'm honest."
The girl says, "Nice to meet you. I'm 30 years old. I've been a hooker for 15 years and I'm a virgin."
My girlfriend caught me drying my dick with the hair dryer. She asked: "What are you doing?"
Apparently "Heating up your dinner." wasn't the right answer.
If a guy opens the car door for his wife you can be sure of 1 thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
We were at the couples pregnancy preparation class. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe & was telling the men how to give the necessary support to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.
She said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just make several stops and stay on a soft surface like grass or a path."
Then she turned to the men in the room, "Gentlemen, remember, you're in this together. It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her." The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.
Wanting to get into the swing of things I quickly raised my hand and asked the instructor, "Would be all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk ?"
And that's when the fight started...