All Roads Lead to the Bar

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, please”.

Best Chance For A Full Recovery

Surgeons prefer operating on politicians.

No guts, heart or spine & the mouth & asshole are interchangeable.

Never Stopped Talking

A guy says to his friend, “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.”

The friend asks, “Why not?”

The guy tells him, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”

Take Out The Trash

One night my wife asked me to take out the garbage.

I told her: "You cooked it, you take it out."

And that's when the fight started...