What do 9 out of 10 people consider to be a good time?
A gang bang.
What should you do if your sister-in-law sits on your glasses & breaks them?
Take them off next time.
Girl finishes screwing a guy and says: "You said you're a dentist?" "Yes, I am." he proudly replied.
"You must be a great dentist." "Why do you say that?"
"I didn't feel a thing."
When we first started dating I wanted to show my girfriend I was serious. So I changed my Facebook status to "in a relationship."
When I told her she said: "It should've been changd to 'under new management!'"
And that's when the fight started...