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WTF?!

WTF?!

Sometimes life can be stranger than even some of our very own dick jokes. And in times like that all we can say is: "What the fuck?!" All these stories are true... they happened to real people. And we didn't even change the names. They deserve the recognition!

'Pregnant' woman left devastated after 'baby' turns out to be huge 11lb tumour

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#WTF?! A woman who thought she was pregnant has been left devastated after her 'baby bump' turned out to be an 11lb tumor.

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Man arrested after allegedly touching orangutan at Fresno Chaffee Zoo

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#WTF?! A 24-year-old man was arrested for allegedly scaling a five-foot barrier at Fresno Chaffee Zoo to touch an orangutan.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

College Rules

On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students about the dormitory rules: "The women's dorm will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the men's dorm will be off limits to all female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"

One male student raised his hand and asked, "How much for a season pass?"

Nag Nag Nag

Jake the farmer has an incredibly nagging wife. One day he's out in the field, she brings his lunch to him, and then sits there and berates him while he's eating. Suddenly, the mule kicks up his back legs, smacking her in the head, and it kills her instantly.

At the wake, the minister notices that when a woman offers her sympathy, Jake nods his head up and down, but when a man comes up and speaks to him, he shakes his head from side to side. The minister says to Jake, "Why was it that you nod your head up and down to all the women and shake your head from side to side to all the men?"

Jake says, "The women all say how nice she looks, and how pretty her dress is. The men all say, Is that mule for sale?'"

 

I'll Have The Same

A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London. After takeoff the stewardess came to take the drink orders. The Irishman asked for a whiskey. When she asked the Mormon if he'd like a drink he replied in disgust, "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips."

The Irishman grabs the stewardess by the arm and says, "Instead of the whiskey, can I have what he's having. I didn't know I had a choice!"