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WTF?!

Sometimes life can be stranger than even some of our very own dick jokes. And in times like that all we can say is: "What the fuck?!" All these stories are true... they happened to real people. And we didn't even change the names. They deserve the recognition!

Woman arrested for calling 911 about bad Chinese food

Created: 10 July 2015
Hits: 3322

WTF?! A woman was arrested for calling 911 to report bad Chinese food. C'mon. Is there any other kind? A 44-year-old Ohio woman was brought to jail after calling 911 to report Chinese food that was "not up to par for her liking," according to police.

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Man Named Bacon Arrested In Dispute Over Sausage

Created: 29 May 2015
Hits: 3293

#WTF?! A man whose last name is Bacon faces charges in a dispute over sausage. No, not that sausage. But we like how you're thinking!

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Going Downtown

When do you know you've been married too long?

The only reason you go down on it is because it doesn't talk back.

Almost Crapped My Pants!

Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work. Every morning for 15 years, Martha says, "One of these days, you're gonna fart your guts out!"

One Thanksgiving morning, Martha's preparing the turkey and gets an idea. Before her husband gets up, she creeps upstairs and places the turkey innards in his pajama bottoms, giggling to herself. Well, later that morning, Bob wakes up and goes through his morning ritual. He screams as he goes running into the bathroom. Martha laughs, but is concerned after noticing that Bob has been in the bathroom for 3 hours.

She runs upstairs, and is about to knock on the door, when Bob opens up, pale as a ghost.

He says, "You were right. You were right. I did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God and these two fingers I got them back up there again."

In Any Language

What do the aborigine call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.

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