What do you get when you cross a whore with a systems engineer?
A fuckin know-it-all!
Teacher: Who knows the inventor of the car air conditioner?
Little Johnny: 3 Jewish guys. Hi, Norm and Max.
I know I've been married too long. Last week I went to the doctor. He asked: "Have you had sex in the last seven days?" And I said: "No, my birthday's in April."
What's brown and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's First Movement.
