What do you get when you cross a whore with a systems engineer?
A fuckin know-it-all!
What's the difference between a 40 year-old man, and a 40 year-old woman?
A 40 year-old woman dreams of having children, a 40 year-old man dreams of dating them.
Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?
Because you have to hollow out the head.
My wife and I were discussing the differences between men and women. She asked: "So what do you think the biggest difference is?"
I told her: "What comes to mind when I say I'd like to give you a facial!"
And that's when the fight started...
