What do you get when you cross a whore with a systems engineer?
A fuckin know-it-all!
How can you tell if you're at a gay barbecue?
The hot dogs taste like shit.
An accordion player and a banjo player are hired to play together on New Year's Eve.
At the end of the party, the guy who hired them says, "You guys were great. You want to play for me again next New Year's Eve?"
The banjo player says, "Sure. Can we leave our stuff?"
What do you say to a woman who won't suck your dick?
"Honey, I'm home."
