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Her Life Matters

Category: And that's when the fight started...
Published: 05 October 2020
Hits: 2691
Working in the garage this morning my wife barges in nagging about not showing her any respect. She demands I recognize her life has value too.
So I pick her up, give her a big hug and dump her in the recycle bin.
And that's when the fight started...

It's Gonna Be One or the Other

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 28 August 2020
Hits: 2390

An old couple's sitting in the living room. The wife turns to her husband and says, "Let's go upstairs and fuck." He looks back and tells her, "I don't know if I can do both."

What's Your Number?

Category: Dick Jokes
Published: 02 June 2020
Hits: 2623

I just bought the latest sleep-number smart bed. It detects when you're screwing your wife, locks the front door and turns on the stereo so your neighbors can't hear you. My number is 69.

You Don't Have To Be An Epidemiologist

Category: Just Plain Funny
Published: 10 May 2020
Hits: 2578

Question: Which is more vicious... Killer Bees or Asian Murder Hornets?

Answer: My ex-wife.

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

TGIF

Here's Dick Johnson's secret to a happy marriage.

Two times a week, my wife and I go to a nice restaurant and have a little wine and good food.

She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.

For Those Too Young To Remember

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "Why the long face?"

Not So Bon Vivant

What do you call a guy who expects to get laid on the second date?

Slow.

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