What do you call a nurse with dirty knees?
The head nurse.
A priest is walking down the street and passes by a prostitute who yells out, "$20 for a handjob!"
He keeps walking but later he asks a nun, "What's a handjob?"
She replies, "20 bucks... same as in town."
Why does a blonde have two more brain cells than a horse?
So she won't shit on the street during the parade.
Guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner licking its balls. The guy looks at the bartender and says: "Man I whish I could do that!"
The bartender tells him: "Better try petting him first!"