No Need To Call A Repairman

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

Slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.

What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest?

Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he turns 12.

Bad things come in three's. Always in three's.

The other day I was screwing my girlfriend while her husband was on a business trip. First she said three words: "Is it in?"

Then she followed that with: "Are you done?"

And finally I heard the front door open and a man's voice shout out: "Honey, I'm home!"

Guy tells his buddy: "I think I've become di-sexual."

Friend asks: "Di-sexual? What the hell is that?"

Guy says: "If I don't get me some pussy pretty soon... I'm gonna kill myself."