It's Been Said

It's been said if you bend over & put your ear to someone's leg you can hear "What the fuck are you doing?"

What did the banana say to the vibrator?

Why are you shaking she's going to eat me.

Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

They don't have balls to scratch.

A drunk's walking along and smacks right into a tree. He backs up a few steps and then walks into the tree again. And then he does it again!

Finally he mumbles to himself, "This is great. I was supposed to be home hours ago, and here I am, lost in the fuckin' forest."