Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
They don't have balls to scratch.
What do women think about during sex? That depends...
The prostitute thinks: "That's all."
The nymphomaniac thinks: "That's all?"
The housewife thinks: "Beige...yes, I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."
Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"
Wife: "In the pool."
What do you call a teenager who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.