The other day my wife and I were golfing when she suddenly asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?" I told her, "No sweetie" but she shot right back with "Oh I'm sure you would." So to keep the peace I said "Okay, I would." Then she asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?" and not knowing where this was going I told her, "Yeah... I guess so."
Finally she asked me, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?" and I told her, "No, she's left handed."
A guy visiting his old friend for dinner one evening was very impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, etc. The couple had been married nearly 50 years and, clearly, they were still very much in love.
While the wife was in the kitchen, the guest leaned over to his host and commented: "I think it's wonderful that after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names."
The old man hung his head and sighed: "I have to tell you the truth. Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I'm scared shit to ask the old bitch what it is..."
