What do you call a 350-pound stripper?
Broke.
A guy woke up one day on Valentines day, he went to check the mail and saw there were no cards. He thought to himself, "Must be because there's no post on a Sunday..."
"Yeah, that's it...That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!"
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip-off!
A man goes to a $10 hooker and gets the crabs.
When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"
