Biology or Cooking Class

What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?

A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.

I told my pal: "I got a brand new digital hearing aid, $10,000!" "What kind is it?" he asked.

"Six-thirty."

I told my wife, "Honey, I bought some Olympic condoms today. I think I'll wear Gold tonight."

She replied, "Why not wear Silver and not finish first for a change?"

And that's when the fight started...

What is a man's view of safe sex?

A padded headboard.