I was furious when I found our joint checking account was empty. When I confronted my wife all she said was, "It's my turn." "What do you mean, your turn?" I shot back.
"In bed," she told me, "you've been making early withdrawals for years. Now... it's my turn."
A 100-year-old man enters a Catholic confessional and admits "Father, last night I had sex with a couple of 18-year-old girls and it lasted for hours."
The priest sternly replies "That is a sin, I'm going to give you a penance."
The old man laughs "That won't be necessary father, I'm Jewish."
The father, confused, asks "Why are you telling me this?"