What's six inches long, two inches wide and drives every woman wild?
A hundred dollar bill!
Cop stops a young prostitute on the street & asks: "What would your mother say if she saw you out hooking?"
"She'd be pissed as hell... this is her corner!"
After 20 years of marriage, I still get blow jobs.
If my wife finds out, she'll fucking kill me.
Two old ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One turns to the other and asks, "Do you still get horny?"
Her friend replies, "Oh sure I do." So the first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?" The second one answers: "I suck a lifesaver."
After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"
