Question: Which is more vicious... Killer Bees or Asian Murder Hornets?
Answer: My ex-wife.
If my son farts or has his hands down his pants, my wife smiles and says, “Like father, like son!”
Yesterday we caught him screwing the neighbor, but for some reason it wasn’t so funny when I said it.
What's the difference between your wife and your job?
After two years, the job still sucks.
What’s the difference between a rabbi and a priest?
A rabbi cuts them off; A priest sucks them off.
