Question: Which is more vicious... Killer Bees or Asian Murder Hornets?
Answer: My ex-wife.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Three guys and a girl are marooned on a desert island. After one week, the girl is so ashamed of what she's doing, she kills herself.
After another week, the guys are so ashamed of what they're doing, they bury her.
After another week, they're so ashamed of what they're doing, they dig her up again.
My wife and I were talking about the differences between little boys and little girls. I asked her: "Why don't little girls fart like little boys do?"
She answered: "Because they don't get assholes until they're married."
And that's when the fight started...
