Why are cowgirls like cow pies?
The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
Two gals were shopping at the supermarket. The first one grabs a good sized potato in each hand and says, "These remind me of my husband's balls."
Her friend looked impressed and replied, "That big, huh?"
"Nope," was the response, "That dirty."
How can you tell when your girlfriend's getting really fat?
You start asking your wife for sex.
What would you call a guy who jerks off during an earthquake?
Focused.
