Need A Change Of Pace

: Created: 23 July 2017; Hits: 2267

You know, it's not every day my wife says, "Sweetheart, why don't you take me upstairs, fuck me in the ass and cum all over my face."

Today was no exception.

Don't Miss These Jokes!

Not A Lifesaver

A teacher was working with a group of underprivileged children, trying to broaden their horizons through sensory exploration. With their eyes closed, they would feel all types of objects, smell aromatic herbs and exotic fruits. Then one day, the teacher brought in a great variety of candy lifesavers, more flavors than you could ever imagine.

"Children, I’d like you to close your eyes and taste these," announced the teacher. Without difficulty, they managed to identify the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher had them put honey flavored lifesavers in their mouths, every one of the children was stumped. "I’ll give you a hint," said the teacher. "It’s something your Mommy probably calls your Daddy all the time."

Instantly, Little Johnny spat the lifesaver out of his mouth and shouted, "Spit ’em out, you guys, they’re assholes!"

Now You'll Love Math Class

Sex is like math. Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, & pray you don't multiply.

And if your partner is really good she'll have no problem finding the root!

Reason To Stay Single

The laundromat: a bad place to find chicks.

If she can't afford a washing machine how can she support you?