What's the recipe for a Honeymoon Salad?
Lettuce alone with no dressing.
What do you call a teenager who doesn't masturbate?
A liar.
Old Dick is no dope. Here's a piece of advice you should always follow: Whenever you have a one night stand, always use protection -- a fake name and a fake number.
What's the difference between a conservative and a liberal?
A conservative is a liberal who's been mugged.
