My apartment is full of Valentine's cards.
I'm not some kind of stud.
I'm a lazy bastard postman.
A termite walks into a bar and asks: "Where's the bar tender?"
I was scewing my wife when suddenly I stopped and didn't move. She asked: "What are you doing?"
I told her: "I saw this online on a porn site. It's called buffering"
And that's when the fight started...
What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.