Not That Kind Of Table

Just booked a table for me and the wife for Valentine's Day.

Hope the bitch knows how to play snooker.

Wife to her husband in frustration: "Get the fuck out." Then, as he's leaving, she adds, "I hope you die a slow painful death."

He turns back to her and says, "So now you want me to stay?"

And that's when the REAL fight started...

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'

What should you do if your sister-in-law sits on your glasses & breaks them?

Take them off next time.