How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'
Two guys are having a couple of beers and talking about their wives. "Do you and your wife ever do it doggy style?" asks the first one.
"Well, not exactly," replies his friend. "She just pretends to be a dog." "Very kinky." says the first guy.
"Well, not really... Whenever I lean over and whisper let's do it doggy style, she rolls over and plays dead."
The phone rings and Mrs. Johnson answers. A voice breathing heavily on the other end says, "I bet you have a tight asshole with no hair."
She replies, "Yeah, he's watching TV. Who should I say is calling?"
How can you tell if you're at a bulemic bachelor party?
The cake jumps out of the girl.