Can't Wait To Get There

I don't want to brag... but I have an incredible sex drive.

The one fat chick who'll screw me lives 100 miles away!

"By the Thanksgiving meal eveyone goes around the table saying what they are most thankful for, you know what I say?

I'm thankful I didn't get caught!"

What would you call a dead prostitute?

Free.

After a night of drinking, drugs and wild sex, I woke up to find myself next to a really ugly woman.

That's when I realized I made it home safely.