Can't Wait To Get There

I don't want to brag... but I have an incredible sex drive.

The one fat chick who'll screw me lives 100 miles away!

Why'd the guy text his wife a picture of his limp dick?

Wanted to let her know he was thinking about her.

A guy, seeing two dogs going at it on the lawn says to his buddy, "You and your wife ever do it like that?"

"Only once" says his friend. "And it took 5 drinks to get her out in the yard."

A girl says to a salesman, "I need some batteries for my vibrator."

He motions with his finger, "Come this way..."

She says, "If I could come that way I wouldn't need a fucking vibrator."