Can't Wait To Get There

I don't want to brag... but I have an incredible sex drive.

The one fat chick who'll screw me lives 100 miles away!

What do you say to a lawyer with an IQ of 50?

"Good morning, Your Honor."

What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?

You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit!