Why does it hurt so much to fuck a chef?
He'll stick a fork in you to see if you're done.
I told my wife I was so pleased she treated me like a God. She looked at me and asked, "What do you mean?"
I told her, "Every evening at dinner you give me a burnt offering."
And that's when the fight started...
My wife was at the sink grousing about the dishes again. She asked me: "How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?"
I told her: "Both of them."
At a party the other night I was asked how I view lesbian relationships.
Apparently "In HD" was not the best answer.
