Why does it hurt so much to fuck a chef?
He'll stick a fork in you to see if you're done.
How is pubic hair like parsley?
You push it to the side before you start eating.
What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from an old woman have in common?
You don't look down.
My wife suggested we go to a marriage counselor to work on our relationship. I said sure. We get there and the therapist asks me to tell how I felt.
I said: "I knew right from the beginning our marriage wouldn't work. I'm an Aquarius and she's a cunt."
And that's when the fight started...
