Why does it hurt so much to fuck a chef?
He'll stick a fork in you to see if you're done.
Man is incomplete until he’s married.
Then he’s finished.
Harry and his wife go to a party on a Friday night.
Saturday morning they wake up and his wife tells him, "Boy, were you loaded last night. You insulted your boss for ten minutes straight. He finally fired you."
Harry says, "Fuck my boss."
She says, "I did. You go back to work Monday."
Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
You can unscrew a lightbulb.
