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Dick Jokes

DJoke400X311

The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Hits: 2137

Surgeons prefer operating on politicians.

No guts, heart or spine & the mouth & asshole are interchangeable.

Hits: 2089

Little Johnny in the bathtub points at his dick: "Mommy, is my brain in there?"

"Not yet, sweetie."

Hits: 1980

4 shots of tequila & I bang my wife doggie style.

2 makes her horny & 2 more gets her out on the front lawn.

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We Love Our First Responders

A fire chief just got married. On their honeymoon he informed his new wife that their home would be run like a firehouse... they would have sex on the bell system.

He proceeded to explain that One Bell meant take your clothes off... Two Bells meant get into bed... and Three Bells meant start fooling around.

The chief came home from work one evening and decided to try out his system. First he hollered ‘One Bell’ and his wife took off her clothes. Then he hollered ‘Two Bells’ and she got into bed. Finally he hollered ‘Three Bells’ and they started fooling around like crazy.

A few minutes later the wife yells "Four Bells." "Four Bells?" the chief asks, "What the hell is Four Bells?"

"Let out more hose, You're nowhere near the fire!"

Finger Licking Good

What’s the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?

They both have a description of the animal on the front of the cage. The Southern zoo includes a recipe.

Now You'll Love Math Class

Sex is like math. Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, & pray you don't multiply.

And if your partner is really good she'll have no problem finding the root!