A laugh a day. It's not hard. Seriously.

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Want A Spanking?

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My wife and I were discussing babies and she had a thought. "Why do doctors spank newborn babies?"

I told her: "To knock the dicks off the stupid ones."

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Miss These Jokes!

A Guy At The Bar

A guy at the bar orders two drinks. He downs one, then pours the other on his left hand.

The bartender asks: "Hey mister... what're you doin'?" "

"Getting my date drunk."

More Reliable Than A Pulse

How do you know if your wife's dead?

You stick your dick in her mouth and she doesn't turn her head.

Shocked For The Wrong Reason

Preparing the body of old man Johnson, a mortician finds the largest penis he has ever seen. "I'm sorry" he says out loud, "But I can't send you off to be cremated and lose forever such a rare and enormous dick like yours. It has to be preserved for posterity."

So the mortician carefully removes the giant organ, places it in a jar and puts the jar in his briefcase. When he gets home, he's excited to show the rare sight to his wife. "Look here honey, I have something to show you that will shock you." he tells her as he removes the jar from his briefcase.

"Oh my God!" the wife screams, "Johnson's dead!"