No Joking Around

I thought I would kid my wife a little, so I said: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, it's too long."

She shot back: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it."

And that's when the fight started...

Guy walks into a bar and sees a dog lying in the corner licking its balls. The guy looks at the bartender and says: "Man I whish I could do that!"

The bartender tells him: "Better try petting him first!"

What’s the difference between a Southern zoo and a Northern zoo?

They both have a description of the animal on the front of the cage. The Southern zoo includes a recipe.

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...

...so, I took her to a gas station.

And that's when the fight started...