What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?
Another lawyer.
Basically there are 5 kinds of sex:
Smurf Sex - On your honeymoon you keep doing it until you're both blue in the face.
Kitchen Sex - At the beginning of your marriage you'll have sex anytime, anywhere - even in the kitchen.
Bedroom Sex - When you've settled down a bit, maybe have some kids, so you gotta restrict it to the bedroom.
Hallway Sex - You reach the point where you pass each other in the hallway and say, "Fuck you!"
Courtroom Sex - Finally, you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of the whole courtroom.
Why is psychoanalysis faster for men than women?
When he has to go back to his childhood he's already there.
Little Johnny was in sex ed class when the teacher began a discussion about genitals. Johnny shouted out, "My old man has got two of those"
The teacher was shocked and asked Johnny to explain.
"Well, the small one he uses when he takes a piss. And the large one he uses to brush the baby sitter's teeth."
