When's the best time to put out the cat?
When it's on fire.
Guy tells his buddy: "I think I've become di-sexual."
Friend asks: "Di-sexual? What the hell is that?"
Guy says: "If I don't get me some pussy pretty soon... I'm gonna kill myself."
Last night, I finally realized a longtime fantasy... I came all over my girlfriend's face.
Man, was she pissed when she woke up.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "Why the long face?"
