Why'd the bride slide down the bannister on her honeymoon?
To warm up her husband's dinner.
Guy bought his wife a new coat and a dildo. Figured if she didn't like the coat, she could go fuck herself.
What's it mean when two lesbians make love?
It doesn't mean dick.
My wife saw a Craigslist ad where a guy was offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium. She looked at me and asked: "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"
"Absolutely not," I told her. "The season's more than half over!"
And that's when the fight started...
