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Go F*ck Yourself

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Guy bought his wife a new coat and a dildo. Figured if she didn't like the coat, she could go fuck herself.

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The Difference Between Men And Women

Women fake orgasms to have relationships

Men fake relationships to have orgasms.

After I'm Gone

I was talking to my wife about what might happen after I died. I told her: Promise me one thing... that 6 months after I die you'll marry Bernie." She said: "I thought you hated Bernie."

"I do"

And that's when the fight started...

Don't Find Yourself in Deep Shit!

What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?

One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.