Being A Lawyer Isn't So Bad

A lawyer asks his partner, "Are you fucking the new secretary?"

The partner tells him, "No."

So the first lawyer says, "Great! Then you fire her."

I come home from work to find my wife in tears sobbing her mom passed away. She asks: "What should we do -- cremate her or bury her?"

I tell her: "Don't take any chances. Do both."

And that's when the fight started...

Two gay guys live together. The first guy says, "Let's play hide and seek. I'll hide, and if you can find me, I'll blow you."

The second guy asks, "What if I can't find you?"

His roomy tells him, "I'll be behind the piano."

The most common superstition in the world today? Belief in your hororscope. There's even a name for people who have that superstition.

They're called "single women."