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Who's The Boss

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Harry and his wife go to a party on a Friday night.

Saturday morning they wake up and his wife tells him, "Boy, were you loaded last night. You insulted your boss for ten minutes straight. He finally fired you."

Harry says, "Fuck my boss."

She says, "I did. You go back to work Monday."

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I told her: "Both of them."

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You Don't Scare Me

A lady's sick of her husband's drinking, so she decides to teach him a lesson. She dresses up like Satan, and when her husband walks in from being out all night, she jumps out from behind the sofa and screams.

The guy looks at her and says, "You don't scare me. I'm married to your sister."

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A woman visits the doctor, with bumps and bruises all over her body. She complains that it was her husband who beat her.

The doctor is surprised: "I thought your husband was out of town."

"So did I..."