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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

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How do Cinderella and Pinnochio make love?

She sits on his face and he tells lies.

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"Forgive me, Father, I was fucking my wife and fantasized she was a nun."

"My son, sometimes when I fuck a nun I fantasize it's your wife."

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How's broccoli like anal sex?

If it was forced on you as a kid, you probably won't enjoy it as an adult.

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All In Due Time

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. When she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he told her with a wink.

That evening, he came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Excited, she opened it to find her gift -  a paperback book titled "The Meaning of Dreams."

And that's when the fight started...

Five Will Get You Ten

What do you say to a man with five penises?

"Your jeans fit like a glove."

Good Riddance

Two guys were out fishing on the lake when a hearse and funeral procession passed the boat on a nearby road. One of them stood up and held his fishing hat over his heart as the hearse passed.

His buddy commented, "Gee, Harry, that was really nice and respectful!"

To which Harry replied, "Well, after all we were married for 40 years."