Why is a drunk at a massage parlor like a bumper sticker?
No matter how you pull it they're hard to get off.
What is the definition of "making love"?
Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.
My wife thought I was too damn bossy, always acting like a typical male, so she called me a male chauvinist pig.
I looked at her sweetly and said: "Honey, the only thing worse than a male chauvinist pig is a woman who won't do what she's told."
And that's when the fight started...
A blonde goes to the gynecologist, and he examines her.
He says, "You have acute vaginitis."
She says, "Thank you..."