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Why is a drunk at a massage parlor like a bumper sticker?

No matter how you pull it they're hard to get off.

What is the definition of "making love"?

Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.

My wife thought I was too damn bossy, always acting like a typical male, so she called me a male chauvinist pig.

I looked at her sweetly and said: "Honey, the only thing worse than a male chauvinist pig is a woman who won't do what she's told."

And that's when the fight started...

A blonde goes to the gynecologist, and he examines her.

He says, "You have acute vaginitis."

She says, "Thank you..."