Why is a drunk at a massage parlor like a bumper sticker?
No matter how you pull it they're hard to get off.
Old guy says: "Doc, every morning at 7 I take a healthy piss, and then at 8 I take a big shit."
"So... what's the problem?"
"I don't get up until 9."
Jerk off with hand sanitizer... do you still wash your hands when you're done? (Just askin' for a friend)
What do all the female reindeer do when santa is busy working with the males on christmas eve?Go into town and blow a couple of bucks!