Why are dicks like fish?
You throw the small ones back, you keep the medium ones and you mount the big ones.
A female officer arrests a drunk. As she puts the cuffs on him she warns: "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be held against you..."
Before she can finish the drunk shouts out: "Boobs"
How is a Jewish woman like a Thanksgiving turkey?
Her husband only gets to stuff her once a year.
What doesn't belong in this list: Meat, Eggs, Wife, Blowjob?
Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs or your wife, but you can't beat a blowjob.