Bring Out The Tape Measure

: Created: 18 September 2016; Hits: 2350

Why are dicks like fish?

You throw the small ones back, you keep the medium ones and you mount the big ones.

Don't Miss These Jokes!

A Farmer's Dilemma

A farmer and his wife were lying in bed after a little quickie. The farmer stroked his wife's bare breasts and said, "Y'know, honey, if these gave milk, we could sell the cow."

Sighing, his wife grabbed her husband's dick and said: "And if this stayed hard a little longer, we could fire the farmhand."

And that's when the fight started...

Picture Perfect

I thought I could please my wife by offering her a sumptuous breakfast in bed. So I asked her what would be her perfect breakfast.

She said: "My perfect breakfast would be a cup of gourmet coffee. Our son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Our daughter is on the cover of Business Week. And your face is on the back of the milk carton."

And that's when the fight started...

It's About Time

20 years the wife finally gives him a blowjob.

Phone rings he picks it up says: It's for you, cocksucker.