Is She A Slut Or A Bitch?

The difference between a slut & a bitch? A slut will screw anyone. A bitch will screw anyone but you.

I asked my wife what she thought my two greatest assets were?

She said: "A closed mouth and an open wallet."

And that's when the fight started...

Gal to salesman: "Should I buy a sweatshirt or a windbreaker?"

"Depends. You gonna sweat or break wind?"

How are fat chicks like a moped?

They may be fun to ride if you got nothin' better, but you wouldn't want your friends to find out.