How come during sex it's OK to say, 'Who's your daddy?,' but it's not OK to say, 'I love you, mommy'?
What would you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a box with his arms and legs?
Kit.
Little Johnny came home and told his mom he got kicked out of mathematics class. His mom asked "What happened."
Little Johnny told her: "The teacher asked me, 'What comes after 69?' Apparently 'mouthwash' was the wrong answer!"
I was talking to my wife about what might happen after I died. I told her: Promise me one thing... that 6 months after I die you'll marry Bernie." She said: "I thought you hated Bernie."
"I do"
And that's when the fight started...
