It's Like That Movie Scream

: Created: 07 April 2016; Hits: 2054

I've found that most younger women make a lot of noise in the bedroom.

Guess they're not expecting to see anyone outside their window.

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The New Pet

A guy is just miserable. So he decides to cheer himself up and get a pet. At the pet store the owner takes him in to the back and shows him a toothless hamster.

The guy looks at it and says: "That's the ugliest thing I ever saw."

The store owner says: "Maybe so, but it will give you the best blowjob you ever had."

So the guy tries it and it's fantastic. He buys the hamster and heads home.

When he gets there his wife sees the ugly little creature and says: "What the hell is that?"

The guy says: "Never mind. Just teach it to cook and then get the fuck out."

Advice From Dad

Guy catches his son jerking off: "Son don't do that, you'll go blind."

Son shouts back "Pop, I'm over here."

Don't Forget To Flush!

What's in the toilet of the star ship enterprise?

The captain's log.