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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Grandma Is Rockin' The Boat

Hits: 3791

I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69.

She said, "No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."

Over Her Dead Body

Hits: 3159

How can you tell if your wife's dead?

The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

A Real Blonde

Hits: 3419

Cop: "Are you a natural blonde?" Blonde: "Yeah."

Tosses his ticket book, starts pulling down his zipper

Blonde: "Oh, no, not another Breathalyzer test."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

This is No Bull

A guy and his wife are out for a drive in the country. They pass a field where they see a bull mount six cows in a row, one after the other. The wife remarks: "Too bad you can't perform like that."

The husband replies: "I could... if I get to change cows every time!"

And that's when the fight started...

Sometimes Things Don't Get Better With TIme

What is the main difference between the first and second honeymoon?

On the second honeymoon, the husband is the one sobbing, "It's way too big."

A Visit To My Local Sex Toys Shop

This year I bought some interesting gifts for my wife for Valentine's Day

I got her 2 sets of handcuffs, 4 pairs of crotchless panties, a giant butt plug, a 12 inch vibrator, a bondage whip, a naughty nurses outfit and 6 huge glow in the dark penis shaped helium balloons.

Will she be happy with it all? I don't know.

But what I do know is that on February 14th her grave will stand out more than any others in the cemetery!