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Dick Jokes

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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Grandma Is Rockin' The Boat

Hits: 3173

I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69.

She said, "No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."

Over Her Dead Body

Hits: 2583

How can you tell if your wife's dead?

The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

A Real Blonde

Hits: 2666

Cop: "Are you a natural blonde?" Blonde: "Yeah."

Tosses his ticket book, starts pulling down his zipper

Blonde: "Oh, no, not another Breathalyzer test."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Great Minds Think Alike

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Little Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?"

Litle Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Little Johnny tells her, "Because the shot scared them all off."

The teacher says, "No, the answer is two, but I like how you're thinking."

So Little Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream."

Little Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!"

A Married Couple's Point of View

A married couple has sex and it's a real quickie.

The wife cries because it's over.

And the husband smiles because it happened.

Wipe That Smile Off Your Face

How do you stop a clown from smiling?

Shoot him in the face!