Dick Jokes
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A priest is walking down the street and passes by a prostitute who yells out, "$20 for a handjob!"
He keeps walking but later he asks a nun, "What's a handjob?"
She replies, "20 bucks... same as in town."
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How do you get a really fat girl into your bed?
Piece of cake.
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Mark and Alex are hanging out at home one cold winter day. Alex asks his friend "It's fuckin' freezin' in here. Can you go upstairs and get me my fuckin' slippers?"
So Alex goes upstairs to get the slippers and he comes across Mark's hot 21-year-old twin sisters. He tells them, "Your brother just sent me up her to have sex with both of you."
One of the sisters replies, "Yeah. Prove it!"
So Alex yells downstairs, "Hey Mark! Both of them?!"
Mark yells back, "Of course! What's the point of fuckin' one?!"