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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Time For A Quickie

Created: 29 January 2015
Hits: 2975

A man walks into the kitchen and finds his wife boiling eggs. She looks at him passionately, lays on the counter, and says, "Make love to me Randy!"

Not wanting to lose the chance he embraces her quickly and they make passionate love.

When they are finished he asks her, "What was that about?"

She replies, "The egg timer was broken."

Sounds Like Spring Break

Created: 27 January 2015
Hits: 3009

A brunette tells her blonde sister "Last night I slept with a Brazilian."

The blonde sister replies "I thought I was the slut! How many is a Brazilian?"

Forgive Me For I Have Sinned

Created: 22 January 2015
Hits: 3060

A 100-year-old man enters a Catholic confessional and admits "Father, last night I had sex with a couple of 18-year-old girls and it lasted for hours."

The priest sternly replies "That is a sin, I'm going to give you a penance."

The old man laughs "That won't be necessary father, I'm Jewish."

The father, confused, asks "Why are you telling me this?"

"I'm telling everyone!"

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

How To Tell Them Apart

Wife walks into the kitchen and finds her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asks. "Hunting flies," he tells her.

"Oh, kill any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," was his reply. Intrigued, she asked, "How can you tell?"

"Easy," he says. "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."

All I Want For Christmas

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus, "Please send me a sister."

Santa Claus wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

Always Know What To Say

What do you say to a woman who won't suck your dick?

"Honey, I'm home."

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