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The Dick Joke
High art... from a low place.

Not What You Think

Created: 09 March 2015
Hits: 2698

The mother of a 17-year-old girl was concerned that her daughter was having sex... Worried the girl might become pregnant and adversely impact family, she consulted the family doctor.

The doctor told her that teenagers today were very willful and any attempt to stop the girl would probably result in rebellion. He then told her to arrange for her daughter to be put on birth control and until then talk to her and give her a box of condoms.

Later that evening, as her daughter was preparing for a date, the mother told her about the situation and handed her a box of condoms.

The girl burst out laughing and reached over to hug her mother, saying, "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating Susan!"

What's Not For Breakfast

Created: 07 March 2015
Hits: 2917

What do eggs Benedict and a blowjob have in common?

You can't get either of them at home.

That's Pretty Tight!

Created: 04 March 2015
Hits: 3542

A priest gets a flat tire fixed.

As the car's coming down on the lift, the priest says to the mechanic, "Are the lug nuts tight?"

The mechanic says, "Tight as a nun's cunt."

The priest says, "You better give them another turn."

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Don't Miss These Jokes!

Storm's A Comin'

What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?

As soon as you see it coming you know someone is going to lose a trailer.

What's New Pussycat?

Guy vists a doctor and tells him: Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass Of Home.'" The doctor says, "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." The patient asks: "Is that common?"

The doctor says, "It's not unusual."

Not A Total Loss

Guy gets home from work on the day the stock market tumbled looking visibly upset. His wife asks: "Honey, what's the matter?"

He tells her: "I can't believe I lost half my money and I still have you."

And that's when the fight started...

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