What do eggs Benedict and a blowjob have in common?
You can't get either of them at home.
Broke hooker to girlfriend while walking the streets together: "Lend me 10 bucks till I'm on my back again"
Why do blondes wear underwear?
To keep their ankles warm.
When I was 16, my dad sat me down and said, "Dick, someday you're gonna meet a girl who's gonna be so right and so wonderful and so perfect that you're not even gonna haggle about the price."
