Storm's A Comin'

What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?

As soon as you see it coming you know someone is going to lose a trailer.

What do you call a virgin on a water bed?

A cherry float.

My wife wanted to test me. So she asked: "Honey, what would you do if you came home and caught me in bed with another guy."

I told her: "I'd kick his seeing eye dog."

And that's when the fight started...

The phone rings and Mrs. Johnson answers. A voice breathing heavily on the other end says, "I bet you have a tight asshole with no hair."

She replies, "Yeah, he's watching TV. Who should I say is calling?"