A Married Couple's Point of View

A married couple has sex and it's a real quickie.

The wife cries because it's over.

And the husband smiles because it happened.

What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?

A Mechanic.

What’s the difference between being hungry and horny?

Where you put the cucumber.

What's the difference between your paycheck and your dick?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck!