How can you tell if your wife's dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
My wife wanted to go on a pleasure trip.
I told her: "Great, let's take your mother to the airport."
And that's when the fight started...
How do you know when you are getting old?
When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
Got home to find a man in bed with my wife. "Who said you could sleep with my wife?"
He said, "Everybody."
