How can you tell if your wife's dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Why is a drunk at a massage parlor like a bumper sticker?
No matter how you pull it they're hard to get off.
Wife gets naked and asks hubby, "What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
Hubby looks her up and down and replies, "Your sense of humor!"
And that's when the fight started...
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's ass?
A Mechanic.
