How can you tell if your wife's dead?
The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
Why is psychoanalysis faster for men than women?
When he has to go back to his childhood he's already there.
You don't have to vaccinate all your children.
Just the ones you want to keep.
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look too big.
I told her not as much as the dress that she had worn yesterday.
And that's when the fight started...
