How do you stop a clown from smiling?
Shoot him in the face!
What do you call a musician with no girlfriend?
Homeless.
Wife: "There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "Water in the carburetor? That's ridiculous."
Wife: "I tell you the car has water in the carburetor."
Husband: "You don't even know what a carburetor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?"
Wife: "In the pool."
Topless babe walks up to 2 guys on the beach wearing Hawaiian shirts. They look her up and down and smile. She smiles back and says: "Hello, Fathers."
One guy asks her: "How did you know we're priests?"
"I'm Sister Mary Kathryn. We take vacations, too."
