No Luck Here

The difference between buying a lottery ticket and fighting with your wife?

You have a chance at winning the lottery.

What do you say to a woman who won't suck your dick?

Nothing.

My wife thought I was too damn bossy, always acting like a typical male, so she called me a male chauvinist pig.

I looked at her sweetly and said: "Honey, the only thing worse than a male chauvinist pig is a woman who won't do what she's told."

And that's when the fight started...

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "Why the long face?"